The Insider.com

In recent days, the news of Lionsgate's remaking of the 2000 classic American Psycho has completely baffled me (how is this even a thing!?) and now further potential developments are melting my mind with confusion -- shock and awe really. The book’s writer, controversial scribe Bret Easton Ellis, tweeted that he has two stars in mind for the hotly disputed re-imagining. Real suggestions or not, just seeing one of their names makes me want to punch my computer screen.

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"I have warned Lionsgate that I will not approve a new version of "American Psycho" unless it stars SCOTT DISICK or MILES FISHER," Easton Ellis tweeted.

Wait, what? Scott Disick??? This must be a joke! While I think this is the writer's snarky way of showing his distaste for the re-imagining, I'm at a loss if Bret's choices are real. Miles Fisher, who had roles in Final Destination 5 and J. Edgar, is known around the internets for his 2009 spot-on Patrick Bateman-inspired music video of This Must Be the Place, so I sort of get it. In all fairness, the dude does look a lot like Christian Bale and he seems to get the impression of him down to a T, but that doesn’t mean that I (or anyone) need to see imitate Christian Bale, who sang and danced his way into my heart in fourth grade when he showed me the way to Santa Fe, for a full movie. There is only one Christian Bale, and he is the true King of New York (and my heart), I don't need any second-rate version.

So what are Scott Disick's qualifications for the role?

Acting Qualification: Mr. Kourtney Kardashian is a reality "star," not an actor. It's not always great when reality's finest try to act. We all saw what happened reality star Paris Hilton tried her hand at acting -- oh wait no one saw the The Hottie & the Nottie (lucky for them).

Douchebag Qualification: From everything I've seen of him, Scott's persona does seem to emulate the fictional investment banker (other than the whole murdering-women-with-chainsaws-thing) as his personal hero – so I guess there's that.

Halloween Costume Qualification: He went as Patrick Bateman for Halloween this year. Does that mean he is qualified to star in a movie as him? Okay world, I went as Sexy C3P0 this year for Halloween, but that doesn’t mean I should be the golden robot in the next theoretical Star Wars iteration! Although if you are reading this George Lucas, (and why wouldn’t you be?) just think about it – I do a mean robot dance. If everyone who dressed up for Halloween, got the lead in a movie because of his or her costume -- well then a lot of girls I know would be starring in movies about slutty fairies.

Like most people I know, I just can’t get behind any of this revamping of American Psycho business. Lionsgate’s decision to do a re-imagining of a movie a classic film that is barely over 10 years old seems totally unwarranted. It just doesn’t need to happen. And if it does – Scott Disick definitely doesn’t need to star in it. The whole thing just seems like a really early April Fool’s joke.

Let's just hope this is Bret's tongue-in-cheek way of telling Lionsgate that doing a remake is over his dead body. 

-What do you think of the new American Pscyho remake?