Say What? Courtney Stodden Does It With Veggies
OH MY GOD, I LOVE THAT COURTNEY STODDEN EXISTS! Seventeen-year-old child bride and unadulterated sex kitten Courtney Stodden sat down with her dog Bazaar and her heaving cleavage -- to get real with PETA about the floor flasher’s new status as a vegetarian.
"Growing up I had so much love for animals and I wasn’t really fond of eating meat and really anything with a face because I just felt like it was an awful thing to do. So just recently I switched to a vegetarian," Mrs. Doug Hutchison says in a PETA pro-vegetarian video short.
Cruelty to animals is horrific and big companies’ poor treatment of them is deplorable and should be absolutely stopped, however I do eat meat – ‘cause it’s awesome. Guess I’m awful. I get PETA and Courtney’s whole “save the animals” thing. I like animals. I like them as pets; I like them in the wild; I like them in zoos; but I also like them on my plate. While I think the sentiment is lovely and I respect the decision of non-meat eaters, if I were a vegetarian, I’d be dead. Frankly, I rarely eat vegetables -- and no man or (29-year-old woman) can subsist on beans alone.
In the video Courtney also boasts a surprising food confession: "I’ve never had a hamburger in my life. I never want to eat a hamburger."
You’ve never had a hamburger?! Now, that’s just un-American. Is your mouth just too full of old man to eat something amazing? Do you know what you have missed out on?! If I could eat an In ‘n’ Out Double Double (sans vegetables) every day without exploding, I would.
Despite my carnivore status, I wish a big congrats to Courtney for giving up eating things with faces and making this awareness video. But Courtney’s video is a little staid for my taste. Where are her patented floor flashes, string-bikini pics in the middle of winter, or any of her delicious tweets?! Why couldn’t she have shared one of her past erotic gems that have delighted Twitter: "My moist mouth is wide open, motivated and ready for you... Dr. Dentist here I come :)" or "Rapturously running my erotic errands with my hot husband! MEOW ;)"
Get with it Courtney! People like your sexed-up teenage persona. So give it to us! I am very disappointed. In the future, I fully expect more veggie-centric sexy tweets, ala: "putting butter all over my heaving artichoke. Anyone want to slather it on with me?" "Feeling feisty, so I’m walking around the house wearing nothing but a zucchini string bikini on my hot tanned body. Meow." "I’ve been busy biting down my luscious lips around juicy carrots and hard, hard celery. God Bless, Luke 6:13!" Or, "In bed. Just put some wet beets all over my lubed-up naked body and having a sexy party. FLOOR FLASH!"
Please Courtney, pretty please incorporate your new veggie lifestyle into your prolific tweets! Either way, watch the video and revel in all that is Courtney Stodden.
Love and broccoli thongs,
P.S. With her teased-out hair and her bejeweled collar, am I the only person who thinks Courtney and Bazaar are looking eerily similar?!?! Yeah, I didn’t think so.