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With recent, mouth-dropping outpourings, it's possible Jesse James' picture should be permanently tacked to the Say What?! Wall of No Shame. Just like Oedipus who couldn't stop himself from sleeping with mommy dearest, the former reality-star-turned-"most-hated-man-in-the-world" just can't seem to help putting his foot in his mouth. And now he is trying to weasel out of the media storm that has ensued after making comments that trashed ex wife Sandra Bullock in bed.
Last week, the "Dead Man" walking came on "The Howard Stern Show" and unleashed several gems regarding Sandy's prowess or lack thereof in the sack. When asked by Stern how the Sandra compared sexually with his fiancée Kat Von D, instead of declining to comment, 42-year-old James frankly said: "That one is an easy no-brainer. Kat Von D. One hundred per cent. She's a vixen."
As if we didn't already know Jesse James was a class act, now he has to air intimate and disparaging details of his time with the woman he wounded.
Days later after the sh*t hit the fan, James is trying to back peddle for the insensitive comments, saying they were a joke and taken out of context. WHAT OTHER MEANING COULD THEY HAVE?! Look tough guy, John Mayer already used that excuse and didn't do him too much good either. Stern asked you a question and you answered -- simple as that.
James tries to explain the Stern interview to TheDailyBeast.com: "That was just him being Howard. It was a bad answer to a sarcastic question, and it's not what I meant. We were just screwing around." Screwing around, eh? Excellent choice of words, Jesse since the world seems to know you are pretty good at that.
In several interviews James has talked about how it has been hard for him to have the public turn against him after news broke of his infidelity. that he feels that no matter what he can't win. He tells Popeater that "I don't think I'm going to be able to do anything right in anybody's eyes ever again, except kill myself or disappear, then people will be happy I guess."
Newsflash duder: It's very likely that the public will never like you again. Even if you adopt a puppy farm and open orphanages around the world -- you probably won't get them back. In my opinion, the only way people would ever side with you over Sandra Bullock, is if a video emerges of the bubbly Oscar winner in black face, wearing Nazi garb and spouting homophobic slurs (and the chances of that happening seem slim to none). And even then, I think people would still side with America's sweetheart! So give up trying to make people feel sorry for you or see this situation from your point of view. Jesse, you can't win, so stop talking.
Like ill-fated Oedipus, I'm hoping this somehow ends with James gouging out his eyes, or better yet, cutting off his tongue. Okay fine, maybe I'm getting a little too Hammurabi's Code on the guy, but I reaaaaaaaaaally liked 'Love Potion No. 9' (who didn't!?)! So at the very least I'm hoping Jesse James will stop that whole talking-to-the media thing.