Cute Video: Meet Brad Pitt's Baby Fan

October 06, 2011

Oh snap, I just watched this video of an 18-month-old girl talking about how cute Brad Pitt is.

You know what I have to say to that? Over my 28-year-old dead body, little lady! Brad is my man, so you best step off! You think you can just stroll up out of the blue with your bubble-gum pink, capped sleeve shirt, and your precious ringlets, infectious smile and your big brown eyes – and walk all over my years of devotion to the Moneyball actor? I don’t think so. You think you can just sit there, looking all cute in your polka-dot high chair and then lay claim on my main man? Oooh hell no!

I mean who does this baby-talking jezebel think she is? Everybody knows if anything happens to Angelina (I pray nightly that it does) I got dibs on Brad. He’s been the apple of my eye ever since he rocked the Seavers' (and my) world on Growing Pains -- and no baby-faced baby is gonna get in my way!

You think you are so cute, don’t you Miss Thang? But you can’t fool me with your heart-warming chanting of Brad Pitts name, or when you lovingly point at his photo and say "cute." You may make America go, "Awww, isn’t she just the cutest thing ever?" -- but I know this whole "I’m an adorable baby who says cute baby stuff" thing is just a clever gimmick to win the heart of America’s most handsome man. You aren’t fooling me, baby girl.

Look, you may be cuter than me, and younger than me – but Brad Pitt is all mine. So step off girly! 'Cause if you don't, I'm warning you – I'm best friends with all the tough toddlers at Gymboree and I’ll make sure you wish you had never been born. If you don't back off, consider your time on the wacky slide OVER. Capiche?!

-Meg Swertlow

-P.S. Okay but for reals, do you guys agree with me? The only thing cuter than super hunk Brad Pitt is this lil’ 18-month-old who adores the Moneyball actor!? Post your comments!