Say What?! Taylor Momsen's Drunken New Video
Oh cute little Taylor Momsen, what happened to you!? The former Gossip Girl actress has made waves the past two years, for her drastically altered appearance (she transformed from a fashionable young actress into a Goth-tastic rocker), her wild stage antics (a then-17-year-old Taylor flashed a crowd while performing with her band) and her increasingly scandalous wardrobe. On Tuesday, Taylor and her band, The Pretty Reckless, released a new music video for their new single, My Medicine, from their album Light Me Up – and if you are looking for something controversial that promotes underage drinking and teenage sex – this is it.
In the very racy video, an (what appears to be) inebriated 18-year-old Taylor walks up to a seedy looking apartment, is greeted by a topless lady and enters into what turns out to be hipster orgy/drug den/tattoo fest. Here’s what I imagine that the Goth Princess Barbie’s stream of consciousness would be during this would-be party:
Hey lady with no top on, lemme in. I was on Gossip Girl! … I should smoke ‘cause smoking is cool. … Ooh hey lady with no top on I’m gonna take a shot ‘cause I’m a badass. …You know who isn’t a bad ass? That Blake Lively. … Oooh I can’t feel my fingers anymore. … Now, I’m gonna sing to the camera ‘cause I’m a badass …. Oh a couch with dirty people. Let’s hang! … Drugs drugs drugs … I’m gonna sing to the camera some more. I hope the people at Hot Topic aren’t upset I bought all the make up in the store and put it on my face. … Sexy idea alert: I’m gonna writhe on the ground. … I’m on the ground. …What’s happening, things are spinning out of control – oh wait that’s me. …Oh God, why did I leave Gossip girl!? WHY WHY WHY!? … And I’m on the ground again, which is good ‘cause this sh*t is SEXY. … Is it Tuesday or Sunday? Never mind, it’s Thursday. … On a scale of one to 10 how much do I look like a badass? Answer: 11. …Does that guy have a tattoo of a hamburger on his back? …Oh here I am on the ground again. I wonder how I got down here? I don’t remember but it probably looked sexy. … Beer bottles on the floor. What should I do with them? Writhe around next to them! … Hey, those people don’t have tops on. That’s fun. … Bubbles. I like bubbles. There are two real sexy people having sex, on a toilet, under black light. Make a mental note to do that later. …Aaand I’m on the ground writhing again. … Oh this shag carpet is sooooft. … Pills. Alcohol. Pills. Alcohol. … WILL SOMEONE PLEASE TOUCH ME!? …Ooh oops, I should probably sing to the camera again. – ‘cause that sh*t was real sexy. … Am I stumbling or is that just my career? Both. … Oooh look now everyone is on the ground. FINALLY! ... If I allowed myself to smile I’d say this was fun. … Pills. Drugs. Naked people. Liquor. Pills. Drugs. Naked people. Liquor. Okay about to pass out. …………… Wait a minute did someone steal my dog collar?
So I think that’s pretty that’s what was going on in Taylor’s head.
My first thought after seeing this video: Where is this girl’s mother!??? My second thought: Get off the ground, do you know how dirty that carpet is!?
Yes, I am aware this is only a music video and it’s not a video of Taylor at a real party – but still! Taylor is 18 years old, meaning she would be a senior in high school, and she is depicting a pretty raunchy night – with seemingly no consequences. Way to set a great example! If this were a real party, do you know how many STDs would probably be in that rattrap of a place? Answer: A lot more than 11! Do you know what I was doing when I was a senior in high school? Not that stuff. I spent my “wild” times with my friends Leslie, Eve, Amy, Amalia and Caitlin and we called ourselves "The Lunch Bunch." No boys allowed – not that any wanted to be. We only hung out with each other and every weekend, instead of drinking and getting coked up like my fellow Brentwood School classmates, we spent our making up choreographed dances to Garbage Version 2.0 songs, watching John Cusack movies, or hosting our own murder mystery dinners. One time we hosted a ‘60s themed murder mystery party, and we didn’t have any boyfriends or friends that were guys, so lucky me -- I got to play the dude character. I wore a mustache and my name was Philip MaBong. Yep. Happened. And yes there are photos. So yeah, that’s what I did in high school. And yes, it was all a very drug/alcohol/orgy free time and totally nerdy time. All the girls in the Lunch Bunch are still my close friends to this day (except for Amy -- no one talks to Amy), and I wouldn’t trade those super nerdy times in for the world. (Okay maybe I would have traded them all in just for night making out with Danny P., my high school crush through all four years and who thought I was a total weirdo.)
Ya know what’s cool to me, Taylor? Allowing yourself to be a teenager and not going crazy on drugs, pills and liquor – I think that’s cool. Put some clothes on, stop encouraging the youth of today to get wasted and roll around on the ground in a drugged-out haze. It’s not sexy, it’s ridiculous. Oh and Taylor, for god sakes -- cut your hair! It looks insane. There’s plenty of time to make terrible decisions, just wait a little. Look at me, I spent most of this past weekend drunk in a clown-themed strip club – with very few memories after midnight. So hello, my life is awesome.
Love and Manic Panic,
P.S. Yeah, Danny P. and I totally made out a year and a half ago. So sometimes being a straight-edged high school nerd works out as an adult.